emily--novel

[supercheesegirl]

emily--just finished your novel. gah. good, good, GOOD. once i got past the first 50 pages i couldn't stop reading. i really liked it. really. if you want to talk more about it i'd love to, but i just wanted to put out there that i really liked it and it is GOOD. thank you for letting me read it. :)

Comments

[sarahpender.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This is good timing, since I'm going through one of those periods of frustration/discouragement and this is very nice to hear. Any comments about things that worked or didn't would be welcome.

[supercheesegirl.livejournal.com]

yeah, don't get discouraged! without getting into too much detail, here's some comments.

things that didn't work, first:
the first 50 pages were slow. very slow. it definitely felt like you were writing the back story before you got to the good part. i read the first 50 pages or so, wandered off for a few weeks before picking it up again, and then finished it in two days because then it got really good. that's my main gripe about the novel, really. oh, and there were a few sections (particularly Ridley speeches) that felt a little preachy, a little "insert philosophy here." that could be more underhanded, i think. but on the whole...

things that worked:
the last 250 pages. you're at your best when you're moving your characters around and developing the plot. once you get going, you really get going, and i was right there with you for the rest of the novel. i liked the twistyness of the plot, i went Oooh! when we found out Ridley was a telepath. and i liked that it ended well--it felt like each character ended up in a good place, but also in a character-appropriate place. if that makes sense.

i loved how each character was the same *character* but a different *person* in each world, while still retaining certain key things (for example, Nathan being a wimpy jerk and having that trait manifest itself in different ways; same with Shelley being a follower and wanting to blend in).

i liked what you did with Nicola (after i got over the initial "wait, gender switch, what the heck happened?" reaction. just one more sentence when that occurs in the first section would help to make it clear we're still talking about the same person). i liked that one of the Nicola's didn't know she was gay, and i liked how that confusion worked through in her various incarnations.

oh, and i liked that you took risks. people are threatening to cut out Jehanne's eyes, and then we have a chapter break, so we figure there's no way they're actually going to cut out her eyes. but then you do it! the character that we thought would be our main heroine from page 1 ends up mutilated and dead before the end, because it's a different Jehanne who survives to see the final resolution. i was really impressed with how that happened. and it made me happy that all the various plotlines and subplots and threads were woven in at the end. the ending chapter was well done.

that's all i've got for the moment... do you have things you want to know? :)

[sarahpender.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comments! I agree on the first (long) chapter; I think that could be cut down from 43 pages to 20 and be what it needs to be. I was glad that the "versions" of the characters made sense and seemed to work.

[pocketwitch.livejournal.com]

She is indeed brilliant. I just finished what she's got ready of the newest one, and it's excellent as well.