supercheesegirl

new years was fun. i left work at 3ish, went to harvard to get my january t-pass, got a bagel for dinner, then headed to Otis house to sell cookies and coffee till 7:30. wonder if i get paid for that. when i got home, i played scrabble with jorn and dann, and then farbs and miles and sarah ee and benjy came over and we played apples to apples till after midnight. it was a good time. yesterday, sat around, watched the end of season 5 of buffy (i cried; no more til july!) and then missi and mike came over. they had spent new years with their friend dave in lowell, so they visited me too and stayed over. we got chinese food from the mysterious mary chung's (closed on tuesdays, as it turns out) and watched the Pirate movie. i love the Pirate movie.

today. back at EF. today was supposed to be my last day, but caroline would like me back for next week. that's fine, since they're nice here. my only ish is with the hours: since i'm sharing a desk, i can't come in til 11:00, when the other guy leaves. it's still 6 hours, since i don't take a lunch, but at only $9/hr it's not a lot of money. at least it's something. so monday, when i have my second interview at harvard law at 11:00, i'll come here at 2 and stay late maybe, then no work on tuesday while i interview for the HR job at millennium (the interview was supposed to be on monday, but oh well), and then work here wednesday-friday 11-5. and maybe someday i'll be able to pay dylan the rent. more later, maybe, since i'm still at work now.

i'm home. christmas was good. gift highlights included the battlestar galactica original series on dvd (in an attractive collector's edition ceylon head case), the pirate movie on dvd (yum), several sweaters (because my mom's worried about me being warm enough in boston), shamu-shaped bedroom slippers, and... the voltron castle. this is one of the most awesome things my mom's come up with yet. see, when i was little i had the voltron castle (voltron being an awesome japanese cartoon, if you haven't heard of it), and i had all the robot lions and figures and everything, and i was keeping it in pristine condition till mom decided we were selling it at the yard sale. i was heartbroken. years and years later, i looked it up on ebay and saw that a mint condition voltron castle could go for over a hundred dollars, and i was still wishing i had mine, and i started guilting/teasing my mom about it. i even wrote a poem about this and put it in my thesis. so she went on ebay and got me my own voltron castle. it even has quite a few of the original pieces. she also got me all the lions and all the little figures, plus two videos and a t-shirt. the t-shirt is all worn and soft and wonderful. it was the sweetest gift ever.

also, at one point in the weekend we went shopping and mom & dad bought me a new interview suit. a really nice one, from casual corner. it's gorgeous. the woman who sold it to us told me, "this is a lucky interview suit--everyone who wears it gets the job." she had bought one for her daughter too. and aunt carole gave me a really pretty, really classy silver necklace which will be perfect with the suit. so i am excited about the second interview i have next week (harvard law school--they want to talk to me again!!!). but now i'm off to bed, because i've got to be at PSG tomorrow morning at 8am. yay for actual work.

oh, and my parents gave me mad gift certificates. after jorn and i exchange gifts, i've going to spend $25 on amazon (probably to preorder my angel season 3 dvds), and i've got over $50 to borders, since i never spent my borders gift card from last year. i am so psyched. also, i have $25 to spend at victoria's, which will be exciting. which pair of panties will i get?? oh the suspense. yay for free shopping.

i want to curl up in ball somewhere and eat chocolate till i puke. i will never find a fucking job. i hate the cold and i hate boston and i hate everything. my room's a mess and i don't care. i didn't get the job at shambhala, and i haven't gotten a call back from HM or the harvard law school job i interviewed at on monday. they were planning on doing second interviews at the end of this week, so i'm guessing i didn't get that one. i just can't do this anymore. i made cookies with dannbrown today and that didn't even make me feel better. i'm betting that the more desperate and unstable i get, the less likely i am to find a job, so that means i'll never find one. i don't want to be dead, not exactly, but i would like to be able to hide in a hole for several months and not be aware of anything until it's spring and there are more jobs. there's just no way out, i can't find a job so i can't pay bills and then there's more debt that i can't pay off because i can't find a job. i would be calling my temp agencies but there's no way they're going to find me a job that would work around christmas. we're leaving the night of 12/23 and coming back the following sunday, so that makes two, probably three (with new years) weeks of no work. i won't be able to make rent. i just don't know what to do.

i wish i could find a used book store that has a lot of paperbacks, so i could get a bunch of fantasy novels and go to a good place for a while. jorn, would you mind if i watched buffy while you're at work? or maybe someone could show me where the library is so i could get some books? i need someplace to hide so maybe i can stop crying all the time.

So where to start. I'm kind of bumming tonight. My roomies and I just had a "discussion" about money and paying bills and how to split up paying for the groceries, so that was fun. I hate money discussions. The money discussion was sparked by the fact of our heat not currently working, and what I think the temperature should be versus what others think it should be. Right now I'm sitting in my room wearing fleece-lined wind pants, a thermal shirt, a sweatshirt, and wrapped in a big blanket, and I'm still freezing. Also, I received my student loan coupon book in the mail today and discovered that I need to make a payment of $189 in less than two weeks. This is money that I don't have. When I tried to call them to try to negotiate a lower payment, I got stuck on hold for twenty minutes on my cell phone before I got cut off (I think my phone hung up on me?). Dylan thinks he might not have a job next month. And I am SO SICK of going on interviews. Here's how my week's been so far. ( click here to read a bunch of stuff about interviews I went on )

The job thing is so just exhausting. I got a temp job for tomorrow, answering phones at BU, that should last me till christmas. I'm sick of this stuff, though. I either want to have a job, a real job, or not have one at all. My hands are so cold. I'm going to go watch star trek.

tonight i need to talk to everyone AND my mom about job things--there's a telecom job here in the info sys department at harvard, where i am right now, that shelley thinks i could put in for and get fairly easily, but i have to decide if i want it. otherwise my job ends next week. thinkthinkthink. houghton mifflin on monday. argh.

okay. i just got a call from Nicole at Houghton Mifflin. i have an interview set up for the monday after Thanksgiving. wow. she's going to send me a copyediting assessment in the mail and i'll have to do it and send it back. it's for an editorial assistant job, in the college textbooks division, working with primarily math and science books. who cares what i'd be working on? Houghton Mifflin would be such a great place to work. and i got this call on my own, because i haven't gotten a chance to drop off my resume with margaret ann over at Otis house. i'm really nervous now and it's over two weeks away. shit. there will be no mention of cartoons this time, i freakin' swear it.

so i give up on trying to understand the evening schedule for the #70 bus. last night i left work a bit later than i meant to but got out to the bus stop by like 4:23, and at 4:25 along arrives the #70! now, i know for a FACT that the 70 didn't arrive at that time two days ago. so was yesterday's 70 running early? late? just a fluke? how can i possibly plan for this? i think in the future i'll just leave at 4:20 and take whatever bus arrives first.

i got to the bus stop this morning just in time to catch the bus. i looked at my watch and it was 8:12. there was an old black lady sitting across from me, and when she got off the bus a few stops later i realized that i have a sweater absolutely identical to the one she had on (my blue one that's open in the front with the pockets). i got mine at a thrift store in pennsylvania. i wonder if she got hers new?

last night was supposed to be game night, but only susanna came over, and she was feeling a bit unpleasant due to her uparriving menses (just how i'm feeling this morning, in fact), so we ordered pizza (the best pizza yet, i think, although i wasn't so fond of the crust) and watched a movie. we couldn't decide on anything, so it came down to jorn holding Mission: Impossible and Run Lola Run behind his back and susanna choosing a hand. we watched Lola, which i had never seen before, and it was awesome.

i found my david bowie cd. it was in my traveling cd case. i felt much better.

there were three different editorial jobs on the harvard website yesterday. i carefully worked up my cover letters and applied. i wonder if there's something wrong with the harvard job website? i've never ever gotten a call about a resume i sent through there, and i've applied for so many you'd think i'd at least get one or two calls. especially since i have harvard experience. (i did get a call from harvard business school publishing once, but they had posted the job on bookbuilders and i had emailed them my resume.) anyway, shelley asked me how the job thing was going, and i mentioned the three jobs and that i never get calls, and she seemed perplexed and even said she'd put in a call for me to those departments. she's really nice. if there was a chance this job would go permanent, i'd stay here. but maybe she can help me get something permanent.

it's freezing here in the office today.

to do: help jorn finish the laundry. stop at Tello's on the way home and get a black slip to wear with the fun dress (possibly to a show on saturday night). email missi the details of the bus i'm taking on friday. pack up my stuff to take to nyc. call ralph at the bank to see if he ever looked into me getting that damn money back for the bounced check. call planned parenthood to get an appointment for my yearly exam sometime this month (damn it, i wanted a real job with health insurance by now). meet david for coffee tonight. clean my room so it'll be nice when i get back on sunday.

so i'm feeling better today, due in large part i think to the various medications i took right after i woke up this morning. the sickness began yesterday as a Sore Throat, Achy, and then last night progressed to Sore Throat, Achy with Fever and Chills. thankfully that didn't last long and by this morning i was up to REALLY Sore Throat, Achy, with Congestion. if it keeps up at this rate, i should be Sniveling and Coughing by sunday. but hopefully if i'm careful i should be able to avoid the Sniveling and Coughing part of the sickness altogether. that's the goal. so this morning when i got up i took acetominophen and sudafed sinus and vitamins, and i had another glass of orange pepper juice. now i'm actually breathing through my nose. (isn't it the worst thing when you're too stuffed up to breathe through your nose so you have to hold your breath to brush your teeth?) i'll have oatmeal with lunch, and i haven't decided what to do about dinner yet--i was planning on making garlic-lime chicken, but i doubt i would enjoy it as much as usual, so maybe i'll postpone that (again) and do chicken noodle soup instead.

anyway, the job things. last night after work i got to drag myself out to dedham again for the copyediting test, and the whole way out there i'm thinking this is too far. then i get there and holly and christine are just so nice, and i think i did really well on the test, and then the whole way back i'm thinking it's not *that* far if they make me a good offer.... well, i was thinking that the whole way back except for my scenic detour through brighton. but i know what i did wrong now, and it won't happen again. now i totally know the way. seriously. so when i got back dylan had parked his car right at the end of the driveway, so i had to perch mine right behind his almost in the street and then go inside and get him and do the car dance. exactly what i felt like doing. but then jorn heated up some soup for me and cuddled with me on the couch for a little while, and i felt better. then dylan came home and also cuddled with me on the couch, and then i got to bed early. i'd only been in bed for an hour or so when dylan came to wake me up to do the car dance yet again, but i was shivering under four blankets (the aforementioned feverish part of my evening), and i begged him to please not make me do it because i was so cold, so dylan moved my car himself. i appreciated that. around midnight i woke up drenched in sweat and hot as hell, so i guess the fever broke. then i slept pretty well.

woke up at 6 this morning, though, which was Fun, but not that bad because i was sort of awake anyway. got all ready for my copyediting assessment this morning and got there on time and everything--the company is right in harvard square and easy to get to and only two blocks from where i'm currently working, which is nice. i think i did well on the test, and i hope i get that job. i mean, a biological journal is better than nothing. think of how much i'll learn. just this morning on the copyediting assessment i learned all about genomes.

oh, and my hair looks rockin' today. need to invest in some different gunk, i think--today i tried using the redkin salon stuff i got a sample of when i first got my hair cut, and it's much nicer than the citreshine paste. the citreshine stuff was perfect when i wanted my hair to stand up on end all the time, but now my hair needs to have some movement. that shit's expensive, though, so we'll see if i actually buy some.

the hard scabby skin where i burned myself last friday night is now starting to crack and peel. not sure if i should peel it or slick it with lotion. i think i'll try lotion first.

this morning on the T i saw a man whose ear hair was so thick it looked as if furry black mold was creeping out of his brain.

we finished watching season 2 of Angel last night. "There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb" was an awesome episode. now i have to wait until december for season 5 of buffy, and next july for season 6 (which means that i could quite possibly be watching season 7 of buffy next christmas--hopehopehope), but i have no idea when the next Angel will be coming out--probably not till next spring. they really should be releasing them concurrently with the corresponding buffy season, because there are occasional crossovers, like one we saw last night. jorn was kind of confused, but i was able to fill him in (since it was a major enough plot point i had heard about it in advance). anyway, i want more buffy and angel, and i want it now.

oh, and two nights ago i got a call from someone at the harvard business school, calling about my resume (!) in reference to a position with the harvard business review: primarily a layout/technical position, lots of quarkXpress and computer usage. i probably will not get another call for an interview, since i'm just not as advanced with the computer stuff as they would like. again with the not enough experience thing. but at least i got a call. i hope i don't have to send out 40 resumes for every one phone call. god, what do i have to do to get an interview??

so here's the annoyance of the day. i *was* logging on to my work computer with a temp ID, but that was just good for the workstation, so i couldn't access any of the files on the network, which i needed to be able to access. also, we didn't think i was set up to print to the office printer. so shelley my boss put in a work order for me to get my own ID and to get set up with the printer. so two days ago i think it was, she got a notice saying that i had a network ID set up for me, and so we try it and hey, it works, except it's logging me on to the network and not to the workstation. fine, i say, and use the temp ID and password to log on to the workstation. this works just fine--i can access the folders on the network now. now all i need is printer access. so a guy from IT comes by to set me up to print, and he realizes that this computer was set up all along to print. great, i say, no problems then. but then he finds out that the computer people didn't send someone over to "set me up" with my network ID, that i'm still logging on to the workstation under the temp ID. so he fixes it. now rhalpine is the only user who can log on to the network at this workstation. before he left i said, hey, am i going to be able to access the files i had saved on this computer under the temp ID? and he says, sure, let me move that folder over for you. he moves the folder, reboots the computer so i can log on fresh, and leaves. and i sit down, log on, and click on my folder, and i get an error message saying that access is denied to that folder. everything i had that i was working on is in that folder (as well as a few really awesome icons i found yesterday, but that's beside the point). i wasn't finished working on several of the pagemaker layouts, so i hadn't put them on a disk and given them to shelley yet. so shelley just has the old copies, and all my updated files are in the folder that i can't open. as soon as i realize this, i leap from my seat (bill from IT had seriously just walked out the door) but i couldn't catch him. i called IT, explained the problem, and told them to get bill back here so he can fix this. and it's around 4:20 by now, and i can't do any work anyway, so i left. i wrote out a long note to bill in the hope that perchance he might make his way back here to fix my computer before the end of the day, but when i got in this morning, the note was still there and the folder still inaccessible. this is flippin' great. i don't think shelley's here yet, so i can't even tell her and hope she's got something else for me to work on. actually, she should, because there were a few files yesterday afternoon that she meant to put on a disk for me and never did, so hopefully she can do that and i'll have something to do today. of course, hopefully bill will come back and fix his mess. teh, bill, teh. and i had been having such a good day yesterday, too.

anyway, even though i'm grumpy about work (they do casual fridays here, i just discovered, as all my co-workers walk past me in jeans while i'm sitting here in a short skirt and tall sexy boots--i totally could've just worn jeans and my hiking boots, which is what i was really feeling like wearing this morning. but i digress), i still had a really good night last night. i got an email from dr. langenfeld saying i can take my time on the proofs and send them next week, so i played some celebratory majora's mask and also got to watch dann play some nintendo too. i called my old landlord about my security deposit, and apparently someone had been holding on to a form or something instead of giving it to the secretary, but she promised me they'd have it in the mail tomorrow. i better have the thing by next week--i need that money. or, rather, my current landlord needs that money. (fucking piano). anyway, i didn't do any of my proofreading last night, and i applied to a bunch more jobs online, and i managed to get my office cleaned up some more. i stopped at the hardware store and got more of those little round pads with sticky stuff on one side, so that i could not scratch my hardwood floors. now my desk chair and my other green trunk are no long scratchy.

also, i took my Spike stand-up out of the box and stood him up in the corner, and he's lurking there now, looking all cool. that inspired me to get out all my buffy action figures (on a side note, moore action announced that they're going to make more action figures after all, but why are they not doing preorders on the website then? i want a willow! and a tara! and, i guess, an anya!). but my collection's getting a little large now. i have the stand-up Spike, and then i have buffy barbie still in the box, and then all my action figures: buffy, giles, oz, drusilla, vampire drusilla, and spike. i even took some of their stuff out of the boxes now (i was keeping it all in pristine condition) so i could coughplaywithcough oh excuse me display them better--i took out the bases for vampire dru and oz and giles, and i took out oz's guitar and i have him playing it, and i took out all of giles's stuff except one of the stakes (because those could get lost so easily). but giles comes with a handy black bag to put stuff in, so that's useful. i didn't take out any of little buffy's stuff, because she's probably the most valuable one i have, but i did give her one of giles's stakes to hold. i also left regular dru's and spike's stuff in the package, and i set the two of them up so they're dancing. it's really cute. i love my action figure collection. but i don't want to look like i'm a big obsessive freak, you know? but i do need a willow. at least a regular one, if not also the vampiric and evil witch versions. i wish i had a xander, but he's pretty expensive now, and i wish i had werewolf oz. and angel, and faith especially, too. i also really wish i had prophecy girl buffy, wearing the prom dress from the end of season one, but that's just a bit too expensive for me. anyway, i was excited to take them all out and set them up.

not much else for now. i'm going to post this and then go see if shelley's here yet. maybe if she calls the IT people and bitches then bill will get himself back over here.