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So, Jorn posted about this, so I guess it's my turn.
Jorn and I have the awesomest relationship ever, but we have this ongoing question about our future: I want to get married and have kids, and he does not want kids. So even though we're really, really happy together, this future question plagues us both and we worry and stress about it while making no headway on finding a solution because you can't compromise on this one. So we have decided to take a break.
I'm moving to Pennsylvania in July, and Jorn is staying in Boston.
As many of you know, my job is ending on June 30th. I had been looking for a job here in Boston, but even when I was offered a good job at a publishing company nearby, I turned it down because something about it didn't feel right. We all know that Boston is too cold for me, and even though I had a good job and great friends and an amazing relationship here, I haven't been happy here the way I thought I would be. And visiting my parents for Easter, and helping my mom recover after her surgery, it really brought home to me that I need to be closer to my family. My mother is insane, but I love my parents and even though they're both doing fine health-wise, their surgeries this spring made me realize that they're not going to be around forever and I want to enjoy them while I've got them. So, this is a decision I've been considering since Easter. I realized, driving back up to Boston, that when my job ends I'll get severance pay and a vacation time payout and an extension on my health insurance for up to 18 months, and our lease is up on August 1 and we already paid the last month's rent so I won't owe rent in July. Financially, this is more than feasible. I don't have a specific plan for what's going to happen with the move, but my parents and my girlfriends in PA have both enthusiastically offered to drive up and help me move things. They're really generous, and I feel very loved.
So here is my plan for the summer. Job ends June 30th, so I'm hoping to go out drinking that night and celebrate Dann's birthday too. Sometime in the first week of July, I'll take an as-yet-unidentified amount of my stuff down to PA. I need to be in PA by July 7 because then I'm going on a cruise to Bermuda with my parents. After that, I'm going to enjoy my unemployment: help my mom clean out the attic, paint my bedroom, see some friends. I'll be back in MA for Annie & Tom's wedding on August 5, and then I'm planning to do a big road trip south. My old roommate Elan is getting married in Tennessee on August 12, so I thought I'd go to that, visit with Jess and Emily and see their new house, head down to Greensboro to see people there, see what Rhett's up to, and then either go to Atlanta for Dragon*Con or to Asheville for Xina's wedding--I need to sit down and do the math and see which will work better. Then after Labor Day, I'll drive back to PA and start looking for a job in PA or NJ. After I find a job, I'll see about getting an apartment that's close to the job and close to my parents.
At this point, I'm mostly just excited about the opportunities that this move is creating. I've thought it out, and I feel really content with the decision. I don't know what's going to happen between Jorn and I in the long term. For now, for the next year, separating is the right thing for us; maybe after some time apart, we'll each reevaluate the situation and come back together. I very strongly hope that will happen. I am mostly not thinking about the sad parts of this move right now, but I'm sure that will all hit me soon. I love Jorn so much, and I love our life together, but this decision I think has been a long time coming. I'm happy that I'm going to take action to fix the things about my life that I don't like, and I'm trying to focus on that.
Jorn and I have the awesomest relationship ever, but we have this ongoing question about our future: I want to get married and have kids, and he does not want kids. So even though we're really, really happy together, this future question plagues us both and we worry and stress about it while making no headway on finding a solution because you can't compromise on this one. So we have decided to take a break.
I'm moving to Pennsylvania in July, and Jorn is staying in Boston.
As many of you know, my job is ending on June 30th. I had been looking for a job here in Boston, but even when I was offered a good job at a publishing company nearby, I turned it down because something about it didn't feel right. We all know that Boston is too cold for me, and even though I had a good job and great friends and an amazing relationship here, I haven't been happy here the way I thought I would be. And visiting my parents for Easter, and helping my mom recover after her surgery, it really brought home to me that I need to be closer to my family. My mother is insane, but I love my parents and even though they're both doing fine health-wise, their surgeries this spring made me realize that they're not going to be around forever and I want to enjoy them while I've got them. So, this is a decision I've been considering since Easter. I realized, driving back up to Boston, that when my job ends I'll get severance pay and a vacation time payout and an extension on my health insurance for up to 18 months, and our lease is up on August 1 and we already paid the last month's rent so I won't owe rent in July. Financially, this is more than feasible. I don't have a specific plan for what's going to happen with the move, but my parents and my girlfriends in PA have both enthusiastically offered to drive up and help me move things. They're really generous, and I feel very loved.
So here is my plan for the summer. Job ends June 30th, so I'm hoping to go out drinking that night and celebrate Dann's birthday too. Sometime in the first week of July, I'll take an as-yet-unidentified amount of my stuff down to PA. I need to be in PA by July 7 because then I'm going on a cruise to Bermuda with my parents. After that, I'm going to enjoy my unemployment: help my mom clean out the attic, paint my bedroom, see some friends. I'll be back in MA for Annie & Tom's wedding on August 5, and then I'm planning to do a big road trip south. My old roommate Elan is getting married in Tennessee on August 12, so I thought I'd go to that, visit with Jess and Emily and see their new house, head down to Greensboro to see people there, see what Rhett's up to, and then either go to Atlanta for Dragon*Con or to Asheville for Xina's wedding--I need to sit down and do the math and see which will work better. Then after Labor Day, I'll drive back to PA and start looking for a job in PA or NJ. After I find a job, I'll see about getting an apartment that's close to the job and close to my parents.
At this point, I'm mostly just excited about the opportunities that this move is creating. I've thought it out, and I feel really content with the decision. I don't know what's going to happen between Jorn and I in the long term. For now, for the next year, separating is the right thing for us; maybe after some time apart, we'll each reevaluate the situation and come back together. I very strongly hope that will happen. I am mostly not thinking about the sad parts of this move right now, but I'm sure that will all hit me soon. I love Jorn so much, and I love our life together, but this decision I think has been a long time coming. I'm happy that I'm going to take action to fix the things about my life that I don't like, and I'm trying to focus on that.
