supercheesegirl | the big news post

So, Jorn posted about this, so I guess it's my turn.

Jorn and I have the awesomest relationship ever, but we have this ongoing question about our future: I want to get married and have kids, and he does not want kids. So even though we're really, really happy together, this future question plagues us both and we worry and stress about it while making no headway on finding a solution because you can't compromise on this one. So we have decided to take a break.

I'm moving to Pennsylvania in July, and Jorn is staying in Boston.

As many of you know, my job is ending on June 30th. I had been looking for a job here in Boston, but even when I was offered a good job at a publishing company nearby, I turned it down because something about it didn't feel right. We all know that Boston is too cold for me, and even though I had a good job and great friends and an amazing relationship here, I haven't been happy here the way I thought I would be. And visiting my parents for Easter, and helping my mom recover after her surgery, it really brought home to me that I need to be closer to my family. My mother is insane, but I love my parents and even though they're both doing fine health-wise, their surgeries this spring made me realize that they're not going to be around forever and I want to enjoy them while I've got them. So, this is a decision I've been considering since Easter. I realized, driving back up to Boston, that when my job ends I'll get severance pay and a vacation time payout and an extension on my health insurance for up to 18 months, and our lease is up on August 1 and we already paid the last month's rent so I won't owe rent in July. Financially, this is more than feasible. I don't have a specific plan for what's going to happen with the move, but my parents and my girlfriends in PA have both enthusiastically offered to drive up and help me move things. They're really generous, and I feel very loved.

So here is my plan for the summer. Job ends June 30th, so I'm hoping to go out drinking that night and celebrate Dann's birthday too. Sometime in the first week of July, I'll take an as-yet-unidentified amount of my stuff down to PA. I need to be in PA by July 7 because then I'm going on a cruise to Bermuda with my parents. After that, I'm going to enjoy my unemployment: help my mom clean out the attic, paint my bedroom, see some friends. I'll be back in MA for Annie & Tom's wedding on August 5, and then I'm planning to do a big road trip south. My old roommate Elan is getting married in Tennessee on August 12, so I thought I'd go to that, visit with Jess and Emily and see their new house, head down to Greensboro to see people there, see what Rhett's up to, and then either go to Atlanta for Dragon*Con or to Asheville for Xina's wedding--I need to sit down and do the math and see which will work better. Then after Labor Day, I'll drive back to PA and start looking for a job in PA or NJ. After I find a job, I'll see about getting an apartment that's close to the job and close to my parents.

At this point, I'm mostly just excited about the opportunities that this move is creating. I've thought it out, and I feel really content with the decision. I don't know what's going to happen between Jorn and I in the long term. For now, for the next year, separating is the right thing for us; maybe after some time apart, we'll each reevaluate the situation and come back together. I very strongly hope that will happen. I am mostly not thinking about the sad parts of this move right now, but I'm sure that will all hit me soon. I love Jorn so much, and I love our life together, but this decision I think has been a long time coming. I'm happy that I'm going to take action to fix the things about my life that I don't like, and I'm trying to focus on that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

much, much love to you, sweetheart.

Love to you too. Thank you for being a loving and impartial friend through all of this.

"I love my parents and even though they're both doing fine health-wise, their surgeries this spring made me realize that they're not going to be around forever and I want to enjoy them while I've got them"

This is such a loving post, and so very true about your parents. I made that discovery much later in life than you but it changed me to the core.

I also wrote to Jorn. I will also say to you this is a wise, sad and yet very thoughtful, loving post.

I live in Harrisburg, PA should you ever want to stop by. PW can fill you in on my brand of insanity ;)

Live well, sweetness.

Thank you. My family is nearer to Philly, but if I get up that way I would love to stop by. :)

-You'll be missed, O Cheeseatrix.

and then either go to Atlanta for Dragon*Con or to Asheville for Xina's wedding

-Wellll, Bey and I are planning on doing Dragon*Con, so . . .

Just so you know, you can't have her in your room. If she comes she's staying in my room! I want my Rox fix!!!! ;)

I'm glad you're so adamant about it! :)

Thank you.

There are lots of arguments in favor of both!

Meh.
It's a good decision, for all the right reasons, but it still makes me sad. I am glad you're in such a good position financially and as far as plans.

Thanks. I'll miss you too. *hug*

just as a side note, I won't be in Boston on the 30th of June, so before then.

K. I knew you were traveling around then, but I didn't remember your exact plans and didn't think to go look them up.

S'cool. I'm gone most of that entire week, so we should do something the week before.

I wish you luck and inspiration and truth on this new branch of your life journey. This is a very difficult decision and I feel both you and Jorn have made this decision with respect, fairness and love for yourselves and each other. I honor both of you for being honest about your future life dreams and not compromising your truths. I hope all the best for you both and wherever your lives should lead you! *love*

*love* Thank you, Chrysta.

i don't know what to say but i wanted you to know i'm listening.

or..reading..as the case may be.

Thanks. *hug*

You know I'll miss you.

There but for the grace go I. I admire the strenght you are both exhibiting.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I can only imagine what a hard decision this must be, but I think it's the right one, and I hope everything will turn out well for you.

*hugs and loves*

I totally cried when I read Jorn's post about it.

How far are you going to be from Philadelphia? If the answer is not that far we should definitely hang out this summer.

My folks live maybe 40 minutes north of Philly driving, an hour if we take the R5. We will hang out.

I'm so sad that you guys are on hiatus. It has seriously crushed me. Can I come visit you in Philly? We'll have fun!! I'll take you to Hershey Park!! Unless our hanging out has become restricted...?

But, as you know (by my incessant texting) the question remains...who will go clubbing with Chelsea in September/October when she'll be in Boston? We have been planning this forever, but I know you can't, and Jorn won't. I put the task in your hands to find someone who will accompany me on my fun/crazy/awesome/boston/clubding/dancing/rampage. This was supposed to be my "coming out", my first step, introduction to the adult world, I'm moving the rug for the first time--but I can't move it all by myself!! And I really don't want to go onto the street and ask a scary stranger to go with me, and going alone would just be boring!

Of course you can come visit me in Philly!! You're not just "my boyfriend's little sister" to me--no matter what happens, you're still my friend. I would totally love to hang out with you when we live closer!

I'll look into it, I promise. But if it doesn't work out for you to go clubbing in Boston, I promise I will take you in Philly later on.

*is touched* I'm so glad I mean more to you than "Jorn's little sister". *tears* I am so sad, I don't want you guys to be apart. I feel so bad that I can't give you and Jorn all the hugs you need!! *virtual hugs*!!! I love you Rox!!! I wish I could do something!!! :'(

I love you too, Chelsea! Thank you so much!

I see you rarely, but you will be missed.

It's Nick Carita... I wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear what's happened, but as you said, it sounds like it was for the best.

I may actually be home in August, so I'd love to get together, see you and Colleen, etc. I'm not sure when in August I'll be home... most likely beginning to middle, so let me know when you're heading out of town! I'd love to catch up!

Take care!
-n

i am thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts dude.

seems like it was a hard decision, but i admire you both for making it. wishing you tons of luck in the next coupla months and beyond:)

What a totally apt icon for this post.
I love the Big O books. They make me cry, though. Damn Silverstein and his ability to make simple and profound relationship analogies.

We would love to have you come visit us. That would be awesomely rockin'.

And my offer I made to Jorn applies to you, too - if there's anything at all I can do to help through all this, let me know. I love both of you guys and hate to see you both going through something so tough, but I know you're trying to do what's best, and that's good. But anything at all I can do, don't hesitate to let me know.

I tried to reply to this yesterday but LJ and my computer were conspring to be jerks.

Anyway, I know we talked about this some while you were down here, but I want to say again that I hope things work out for both you and Jorn. I obviously don't know him, but he seems to make you happy and that makes him all right in my book. So I hope that, no matter what, you're both able to come through this and be happy (be it with each other or, sad to say, not). *hugs*

*love to you*
as previously stated by the 23746239523 other people who have commented on both Jorn's and your posts, we all love you and you've got quite the support system around you, all over the freaking country. :) If you ever need anything, let me know.

And if you find yourself bored in PA and feel like venturing over the river to South Jersey, we're not that far away.

I will miss you an awful lot, even though we didn't spend that much time together, I liked knowing you were close. I wish you all the best on this new leg of your journey. I am sending prayers and good energy your way and Jorn's. I hope we don't lose touch. We must go out together before you head out!