books 2008: The Xibalba Murders, by Lyn Hamilton

[supercheesegirl]

Wow, this was really terrible. The caption on the front cover says, "Ancient mysteries never die. But people do." This book is an "archaeological mystery" about the Mayan people. The heroine was a complete Mary Sue and also a moron. Well-researched, but the characters would have long conversations just to tell each other pertinent and not-so-pertinent facts about Maya history. Not very subtle. I figured out who the bad guy was right from like the first minute she met him, and also saw right away who she was going to end up in bed with. Just poorly written. Here are some examples:

Lara/Mary Sue has witnessed a robbery in the midst of the murders. A few days later, she ponders everything that's been going on: "First, the robbery. Alejandro was surely involved." Well, yes, considering that YOU SAW THE ROBBERY AND RECOGNIZED HIM AS ONE OF THE ROBBERS, I would imagine that he was surely quite involved with it! What are we supposed to think here?

Arriving at the archaeological dig: "Lucas pulled the jeep off the road and parked it besides a couple of old pickup trucks and three very ancient Volkswagens of the sort endearingly called Bugs." Oh come on. ENDEARINGLY? I almost threw the book across the room.

Also, at the predictable end, Lara/Mary Sue just sort of mentions in passing that the mysterious artifact that all this was about hasn't been seen again. Regarding her lover, she says, "Even more important, I will never ask, nor do I expect he will ever tell me, what he did with [mysterious artifact]. Knowing him as well as I do, I can only assume it will not be used for evil purposes." THAT'S THE LAST LINE OF THE BOOK. This writing is horrible! Argh! I don't feel bad at all that I've spoiled the book by telling you the end. It was already spoiled. Oh man.

(Why did I keep reading it? I mean, the endearingly named Bugs appeared on page 71, and there's 290 pages total--I could have escaped much earlier. I guess I wanted a dose of Mayan history, since it's been a long while since the end of my Mayan hieroglyph class. Also, it's not that long of a book, and I guess it was worth finishing just to rant about.)

Comments

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

The latest Kushiel book has what may be the worst sex scene in the history of those books. no lie.

paraphrasing here, because I don't have it in front of me:
Our desire was like an oil soaked rag* waiting to spark to blah blah blah. Blah sexy girl blah blah blah. I moved her underdrawers* aside (away? maybe it's away) in order to blah blah blah. Blah blah gift from the gods blah blah blah. I pushed.*
We fit.**

*direct quotes. really.
** and formating. Direct quote and FORMATTING.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I've mentioned, but I love this about my current friends. In college, I would rant endlessly when a movie or book was bad, and my friends would complain that I simply didn't like anything. It's not true; I simply had higher standards.
My friends now?
Higher standards than I do, and willing to set their snark to kill.
Awesome.

[sleepyworm.livejournal.com]

I generally feel that my friends have higher standards these days, but then there's a book or two that makes me wonder if I'm just taking crazy pills. I'm one of the few people I know of that thought that The Da Vinci Code was an example of HORRIBLE writing. Plot: fun, exciting. Writing: atrocious. I even tried talking to my family about how I couldn't stand the writing and they all thought I was insane.

I also have major beef about the final harry potter book, and that seems to ruffle a lot of feathers. Oh well! I'm a discriminating reader.

[supercheesegirl.livejournal.com]

The sex scenes in those books are usually so hot, too! Jorn used to love it when I reread Kushiel! Oh man. How are the Imri books in general? I've been wondering.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

"Why did I keep reading it?"

The same reason we stare at trainwrecks, or continue to watch a godawful movie; we have to know...even though we don't really want to.

On the upside, if crap like that gets published, maybe the better stuff (like yours, and asciikitty's) won't have such difficulty. Yeah...if the world were a just place. I know.

[sleepyworm.livejournal.com]

Arriving at the archaeological dig: "Lucas pulled the jeep off the road and parked it besides a couple of old pickup trucks and three very ancient Volkswagens of the sort endearingly called Bugs." Oh come on. ENDEARINGLY? I almost threw the book across the room.

And THAT is why I tell people I didn't like The Da Vinci Code.

[minkrose]

Ditto - I finished it and I said "This is a bad book. And that is a qualified opinion - I'm an English major and I have a friggin' DEGREE in being able to DECLARE that this a terribly written book."

But I still finished it, because I don't like denouncing something I haven't fully experienced.

[supercheesegirl.livejournal.com]

Dude, The Da Vinci Code is a brilliant literary work of staggering genius compared to this book.

[sleepyworm.livejournal.com]

Well, that example you gave was straight outta Brown town.