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so today was a good day for the most part. i woke up at jorn's house, went to the gym, played with my sims for a while this morning, showered, went to the office and did busywork for ELT, came home, and then went to the HLC for my evening hours. and i was working with the nice little boy. he's only five, so he's working on writing letters and recognizing simple words, stuff like that. and we got along great for the first 45 minutes or so, and then he got a little cranky and tired, and i guess i didn't see it and pushed at him too much, and he started crying and refused to work anymore today. which is not, in itself, a big deal--it happens sometimes, especially with the little kids, but as long as they're happy when they leave (and usually they are, just because they're leaving), then the parents don't hear about it.
but my problem is that this happens all the time *with me*. and i'm starting to wonder if it's the little kids just being little kids, or if it's me. this is the fourth kid that i've made cry. and i've never seen him crying when he was working with anyone else. that doesn't mean he never has, of course, just that i've never seen it. but i really kind of dread working with the little kids now, because they get upset and then they don't learn anything, and it does me no good because i get all stressed out. i've never before thought of myself as a person who makes children cry.
so that kind of killed my evening, and as i was pondering this on my way home, i nearly hit this woman on her bike. completely my fault, but i stopped in plenty of time. but she starts yelling obscenities at me. does this make me feel guilty for almost hitting her? no, it makes me almost wish i had hit her. bitch. although if it was me, i would've felt justified in yelling obscenities too. there were, i swear, six people on bikes just on the one street as i drove home. and all of them were in the street. now, i realize you get a better ride if you're in the street, and it's annoying to ride on the sidewalk, but honestly. and this one couple! i pass them as i'm approaching a red light. i stop at the red light. they come up past me on their bikes and without even slowing down to look, they ride right through the light. straight across the street. not even slowing down. granted, it was a one-way street, so they only had to look one way to see if there was traffic coming, but it's a three-lane one-way street. and aren't people on bikes supposed to follow the normal traffic laws anyway? couldn't they get a citation for that? they certainly should.
and then i get home, and i'm feeling all sorry for myself because i'm an asshole who makes little kids cry and then tries to kill bitches on bikes, and there's a package for me sitting in the stairwell. and it's from sarah b, and it contains all these weird fun crazy clothes that i'm guessing she got at the garment district or some other thrift store. two jackets, two shirts, and a pair of pants, all crammed in this little box. just because she got a good deal and was thinking of me. awww. i miss my roomie.
do days like this happen to other people? sometimes i feel like no one mood-swings like i do.
but my problem is that this happens all the time *with me*. and i'm starting to wonder if it's the little kids just being little kids, or if it's me. this is the fourth kid that i've made cry. and i've never seen him crying when he was working with anyone else. that doesn't mean he never has, of course, just that i've never seen it. but i really kind of dread working with the little kids now, because they get upset and then they don't learn anything, and it does me no good because i get all stressed out. i've never before thought of myself as a person who makes children cry.
so that kind of killed my evening, and as i was pondering this on my way home, i nearly hit this woman on her bike. completely my fault, but i stopped in plenty of time. but she starts yelling obscenities at me. does this make me feel guilty for almost hitting her? no, it makes me almost wish i had hit her. bitch. although if it was me, i would've felt justified in yelling obscenities too. there were, i swear, six people on bikes just on the one street as i drove home. and all of them were in the street. now, i realize you get a better ride if you're in the street, and it's annoying to ride on the sidewalk, but honestly. and this one couple! i pass them as i'm approaching a red light. i stop at the red light. they come up past me on their bikes and without even slowing down to look, they ride right through the light. straight across the street. not even slowing down. granted, it was a one-way street, so they only had to look one way to see if there was traffic coming, but it's a three-lane one-way street. and aren't people on bikes supposed to follow the normal traffic laws anyway? couldn't they get a citation for that? they certainly should.
and then i get home, and i'm feeling all sorry for myself because i'm an asshole who makes little kids cry and then tries to kill bitches on bikes, and there's a package for me sitting in the stairwell. and it's from sarah b, and it contains all these weird fun crazy clothes that i'm guessing she got at the garment district or some other thrift store. two jackets, two shirts, and a pair of pants, all crammed in this little box. just because she got a good deal and was thinking of me. awww. i miss my roomie.
do days like this happen to other people? sometimes i feel like no one mood-swings like i do.
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Date: 2002-06-03 04:41 pm (UTC)From:2) everybody has bad days. You should come over for a backrub or something. I'll try to cheer you up if I can.
I love you.