cat discouragement

[supercheesegirl]

I haven't posted much about the cat lately. Because there hasn't been any news to post. I really feel discouraged about the cat. Locking him out of my bedroom was a big improvement, but now he just sits on the windowsill behind the microwave. I can pet him, and every day I try picking him up and holding him for a few minutes, but it's just not going anywhere. I want a regular cat. A cat who will twine around my ankles and trip me, a cat who will beg for dinner, a cat who will curl up on the couch with me and purr on my bed at night. A regular, normal cat. This cat, I mean, it's not that he doesn't like me, but I'm just worried that the hiding behavior is too ingrained in him for it to change. If I could have more than one cat I wouldn't care, but I can only have one cat, and so I'm doing all the work of having a cat and getting none of the benefits. We have our moments, sometimes, when I'm petting him, but I always have to seek him out and draw him out. It's been over a month now. I am too sad about this to try and try and try for months. I understand that this cat needs more time than other cats might, and he might need months, but I just can't do it. He gets until the end of May.

Comments

[velvetwaltz.livejournal.com]

NOOOooo. dont get rid of him. it will only add to his anti-socialism. and it will be that much harder on the next person who tries to adopt him. this is your chance to break the cycle. let him know that someone will care enough about him to stay with him. isnt that why you "rescued" him?... its not like he has real behavioral problems like peeing everywhere and tearing up the curtains.

[supercheesegirl.livejournal.com]

He does tear up the curtains, actually. I spent $45 on a goddamn scratching post and he's ripping up my curtains. But he uses his litter box, so that's something.

I "rescued" him because he seemed like a nice sweet cat who would be my friend, and I wanted to give him a good home. And he still seems like a sweet cat, but the hiding is so ingrained in him. If I want to spend time with him, I have to stand by the window, or sit in the chair by the window. Picking him up just freaks him out. I'm doing all the work of having a cat, but I don't get to enjoy the perks of having a cat, unless I stop what I'm doing and sit by the window. Being able to rescue a needy cat and give it a good home was one of my motivations for getting a cat, but I also wanted a friend, and I'm not getting that. There's no guarantee he'll ever be a friend to me, and it just makes me sad all the time! It's frustrating, and I just wanted a normal cat. Nothing on this cat's information said he had emotional problems. I wouldn'tve picked him if I'd known he would be like this. There are lots of perfectly nice cats who need homes who would like to be my friend and who don't have emotional problems. A different cat might be better for me, and if I give this cat back, it's not as if he's losing his only chance at a good home. This organization doesn't put cats down, ever, and they'll still work to find a good placement for him. He might be happier with someone else.

That said, I feel horrible about the idea of giving him back. But I also feel miserable about him all the time anyway, so what's worse?

[velvetwaltz.livejournal.com]

im sorry if i made you feel MORE guilty. that was not my intention. i was just giving it one more shot.
i do understand what you are saying about it just not working for you. when i lived with JP we got a young dog. and he was a chew-er. and needed major attention. and play time. but we didnt have the time/space. and we got so stressed out by the situation. we started fighting with each other. we had to give him back to the shelter. it was sooo sad.
there is a place in austin that allows you to take the pet home for a few days and "test-drive" it. maybe you can find a place like that in PA. so you can be sure to get a cat that doesnt have issues.