supercheesegirl: (conan the barbarian)
F and I slept in till almost 9:00 yesterday morning before we went for a jog. I made him follow my normal route so we wouldn't go too far like we sometimes do when he picks the route.

In other news, we each spent 2.5 hours yesterday and almost 2 hours today working on writing. I have a crapload of new poems. I have never had this many new poems before. My project while F is out of town next week is to assemble a book manuscript. Can we say, dang?

Dang.
supercheesegirl: (yoga - cute)
Yoga # 59
Tuesday June 29, early morning
25 minutes
1770 minutes total

It's been a week and a half since my last yoga practice. Ugh. I took my mat with me on the honeymoon and everything, but it just didn't happen.

Now that the wedding's over, F and I are both doing summer hours at work--an alternate schedule where we put in 3-4 hours of extra time at the office over the course of the week and then take a half day every Friday. This means getting up extra early. Today we began implementing our new morning schedule: alarm at 5:55, F gets up, heads for kitchen to start breakfast, next alarm goes off at 5:58, I drag myself out of bed to join F in the kitchen, we make and eat breakfast, I do yoga 6:30-7:00 while F showers, then F writes 7:00-7:30 while I shower, and we leave the house at 7:50 for work. Today this plan went really well, so much so that I was totally ready to leave 8 minutes early. I think next time I can do a full 30 minutes of yoga if I start by 6:30.

(We actually meant to implement the new morning schedule on Monday, but the fire alarm in our building went off at 12:15 Sunday night, so we were woken up and had to go sit outside and were consequently too zonked the next morning to think about getting up extra early.)

Getting back to yoga felt great. I was tired, and sore in a lot of places from the lack of activity, but it felt very good to get back to the mat. I did some weights, and it was a little sad how hard it was to lift after less than two weeks away. Then I did my standing work routine.

I have a new bedtime routine too that I'm really enjoying. Lately, especially with the wedding, I've been having trouble falling asleep because my mind has been so busy. Now before bed I've been reading a few chapters of Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. I'd been wanting to reread it anyway, and it's so calming and joyful. It really helps to cool down my brain. Then I read a little poetry, write for a few minutes, and turn off the light. I don't know that I'm actually sleeping better yet--it's been so hot--but at least I'm feeling more peaceful. Also, since I'm reading Hanh at night, I felt like I had a little more to bring to my meditation in yoga this morning. I think I'll try to keep this up, get some of Hanh's books from the library once I finish this one.

I'm still digesting a lot of stuff about the wedding. I've written four poem drafts in two days and I still have a lot to write. The poems I'm writing now are following really naturally on the work I've been doing over the past year (loosely titled the "Please F Don't Die" series) and I really think if I keep up good writing habits I'll have a whole book draft pretty soon. I even have a title in mind. Provided the poems are any good, of course. I figure I'm maybe halfway there? A book of poems needs at least 48 pages, and I know I've got around 25, not counting the most recent stuff, and I'll need to write extra so I can have the freedom to drop anything that's not working. so I'm maybe halfway. And then there's all the revising. This work is different than anything I've ever done before, so the revising is particularly tough. A lot of work ahead with this project, but it feels really good, like I'm on the right track.
supercheesegirl: (yoga)
Tonight I went to a vinyasa flow class at StaSu Yoga! So exciting!

There was some kind of big traffic pile up on the highway, so I had to take the backroads to get there, and even the back roads were crowded with cars overflowing from the highway. Still, I got there in about 25 minutes. The studio wasn't hard to find. It's a really nice space--there's a nice-sized lobby, with comfy chairs and merch, and ample bathrooms with cubbies for your stuff. The yoga space is through a set of double doors. They keep a hot room, which I didn't realize going in, but it was really great. The yoga space is roomy but not huge; there's a mirrored wall, good lighting, and a good sound system (embedded in the ceiling, not just a boom box). They obviously put a lot of thought into the decor.

The class itself was really great. I've been needing this for a while now. 60+ minutes of serious vinyasa flow! I can't remember the last time I had a good vinyasa class--probably over a year now, since my membership ran out at my old gym. Stacey, the teacher and one of the studio's owners, really kept us moving. I'd almost forgotten how good that felt. My thighs weren't really up to it--I obviously haven't been doing my squats, since I couldn't hold chair pose or some of the other thigh-intensive things. But otherwise, I held my own in the class. Stacey as a teacher was pretty good--there were some poses that it didn't seem like she described well enough, so that even in a room full of seemingly experienced yoga-doers, everybody kind of scrambled for a second to figure out what we were doing. Mostly, though, she was great, and she did good adjustments, and structured the class well. I would definitely go back to her.

Afterwards, Stacey asked me if this was the sort of yoga I do, and I told her yes, I really liked the class. Then she said I have a beautiful practice. That made me smile.

And the first class was free! Definitely planning to go back there. Notes for next time: bring a towel, wear the short pants, and pull up hair in a bun (not a ponytail).

I'm concerned, though, because this is a Thursday night class, and dance class is usually on Thursday nights. I was looking forward to tap and african and especially indian dance. But vinyasa is so much closer to my heart. And this is the only 60-minute vinyasa flow class they have during the week--there's a 75-minute class on Tuesdays, but it starts at 6:00 and I just don't know if I can get there that early. I might try, though. A 75-minute vinyasa class might just be a good substitute for a Tuesday morning jog once it gets colder outside.

Overall, today I just feel really happy. I got some good writing work done this morning. I'm really happy with all the new poems that have been coming out in the past few months. I'm working on typing them all up now, and with every one I am just pleased and surprised at what I'd written. I have no idea if any of them will ultimately turn out to be publishable, but I'm really enjoying just being entertained by my own poems. I don't know if I ever felt like that before--I've felt good after writing, and satisfied with a poem, and proud of a poem, but just entertained and glad? I don't know. It makes me happy, anyway.
supercheesegirl: (writing notebook)
I worked on writing yesterday morning and again this morning. (I did yoga Tuesday night, so I put Wednesday morning's yoga time towards writing, and Thursday morning's yoga time has theoretically always been for writing because of flamenco Thursday night.) I opened the notebook. I typed up some things that sort of resemble poems. One of them was written on two napkins and shoved in there. And by "sort of resemble poems", I am actually being entirely honest, because these things are really different from what I used to write. They are not very lyrical or full of imagery; they're sort of raw and sharp. I cut myself on one yesterday morning and got kind of teary. I think they might end up as prose poems? They don't seem to want line breaks. I'm not sure what I'll have to do to revise them, so I'm reading some prose poems hoping for ideas. I'm midway through Sentence issue # 6, and then I'm planning to reread Wenderoth's Letters to Wendy's and Gary Young's No Other Life. Although maybe I should skip right to Gary Young? F also pulled out a book for me to read. Anyway, there are still more things in the notebook waiting to come out. I feel apprehensive but committed.

Yesterday I also read through a few things that I'd worked on before and had set aside because I didn't know what more to do with them to "finish" them. And I think maybe that's because they actually are finished. But I'm not sure, I think I still have some agonizing to do.

And then there's the Augustine Project, which I've been researching a bunch lately, but right now I feel very connected to what I'm loosely calling the "Please F Don't Die" Project so the Augustine Project is more of a backburner. I feel like they are different projects but I could be wrong about that. I think the Augustine Project might need to percolate a little more, so that the recent research can sink in. I'm hoping that will happen, so that the next time I return to these characters the new things I've learned lately will just be incorporated into my understanding of who they are. Then maybe my poems about them won't suck. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

So, some writing goodness going on lately! Hopefully I can keep it going longer than three days!
supercheesegirl: (conan the barbarian)
Friday: out to dinner with Rose and Lauren. Rose suggested we go to Exton but wouldn't pick a specific restaurant, so Lauren just googled "restaurants in Exton" and picked one. Their menu was online and sounded really good. The place ended up being nowhere near downtown Exton, but the food was really really good and we had a nice time.

Also, Friday night when I got home, I found a message in my inbox letting me know that one of my essays has been provisionally accepted for publication in Saw Palm! Very exciting!

Saturday: Richard the Couch-Cleaning Man came over and cleaned a spot on my couch. Then I caught the 12:15 train downtown to meet up with my mom. We had a nice lunch at the Marathon Grill (I got the hot dog! Yum!) and then we went to see the Salzburg Marionettes at the Kimmel Center. I had seen them before, in Salzburg, and thought they were terrific, so I was psyched to find out they were on tour so I could take my mom. They were performing The Sound of Music, too, which is one of Mom's favorites. We both really enjoyed the show.

Saturday night: I went to the grocery store, then cleaned out my closet and switched all my summer stuff for winter stuff.

Sunday so far: I decided to make my applesauce today, as a pre-Thanksgiving run-through. I'm using Gala apples, which I think are good--I can never remember what kind is best, although I do know that neither Granny Smiths nor Red Deliciouses make for good applesauce. I am trying something new and added walnuts to the applesauce, so we'll see how that goes. I'm planning to add chopped cranberries to the T-day applesauce too. Yum!

After doing the apple prep and turning on the crockpot, I went to church this morning, then to the gym after church. 35 minutes of fat-burning elliptical, then about 30-40 minutes of yoga. For some reason I've been seriously lacking an interest in yoga lately, plus I've just been mad busy in general, but I'm trying to stay on top of it. A good workout overall. Came home, had a sandwich and relaxed a bit, then cleaned out my basement storage space! I had a ton of empty boxes tossed in down there just in case I needed them, plus cat supplies I'm not going to be needing for a while, plus a lot of random crap. I'm seriously considering selling off most of my Buffy action figures on ebay. Anyway, the storage space is cleaned up now, the random boxes are broken down and stacked or else trashed in the dumpster, and the boxes of Christmas decorations are right at the front of the storage room so I can get to them easily later this month.

I washed all the dishes, and chatted with my mom on the phone for a bit--the Eagles won, holy crap--and then did some basic revising on a poem and an essay that I've been meaning to do for a while. Next up, sending out that now-finished poem, and revising up that provisionally-accepted essay. I have applesauce crocking that'll be ready any time now, and chicken in the oven that'll be ready in maybe 45 minutes, so I have a good dinner on the way, and it's enough for good leftovers tomorrow, too.

Overall, an excellent and productive weekend!
supercheesegirl: (heroes)
Last night I:

- stopped at the library, returned two books I'd read, and picked up four new ones (two were on hold for me, and the other two were exciting surprises).
- did yoga for almost an hour!
- typed up a draft of an essay. When it's a little more polished, I'd like to send it to someone to read (warning: graphic and hilarious menstrual details). Any volunteers? ([livejournal.com profile] pocketwitch, I'm sending it to you whether you volunteer or not.) ::edit:: okay, *I* think it's hilarious, but I'm not making any promises. It might just be disturbing.
- cooked crab alfredo cavatappi (aka "crabby pasta"), now with spinach. I have leftovers for dinner tonight.
- watched Chuck and Heroes

Heroes )
supercheesegirl: (monsoon - alice)
Last night I stayed up til midnight talking to F (need to stop *doing* that!), so I was ridiculously tired this morning. Dragged my sorry self out of bed at 6:35, so I was already running late for my train, and then I had a terrific poem idea in the shower. This one had been percolating for a while, and then it suddenly dawned on me, so I had to write it down as soon as I was dry. That meant I was so late I had to take pop tarts for breakfast on the train, instead of having a nice bowl of cereal like usual, but oh well--poem! Also I remembered to take the box to mail to my former neighbor, and then instead of a coffee from Starbucks I got a chai--hopefully that will make up for the pop tarts a little bit. Anyway, what with the errands I didn't get to work until 8:40. Sigh. But there was a poem.
supercheesegirl: (writing notebook)
I got my financial assistance letter from the Key West Literary Seminar today. I gots money!! I'm so excited. I can definitely go, and it's affordable, and I'll share a room with Heather, and I'm in Bich Nguyen's nonfiction workshop which I'm so happy about. This gives me first of all a good excuse to buy her book, and secondly an excellent and compelling reason to get off my tail and write some nonfiction. Whee!

Heather, the cheapest rooms are $120 per night, but that's per room, not per person, right? So if we've both got $50 per night towards housing, that means we're paying $10 a night each? 'Cause that would super-rock. Correct my math if I'm wrong.

Kim, are you still hoping to go? I hope so!

I'm so happy. This was the writing pick-me-up I needed. I believe I shall tape this letter up on the wall.
supercheesegirl: (happy beach)
Last night I got serious and cleaned the apartment. Vaccuumed the whole place, scrubbed the bathroom, mopped the kitchen and bathroom. And then put everything back where it's supposed to go. Then after that I got to feeling really really really sad, most of which was cat-related. For the record, talking to my mom about the cat is Not Helping. So I stared blankly at the TV and the internets for a while, then remembered that I still had Buffy comics to read. So I read them, and fell asleep happy.

This morning I was supposed to meet with a woman from the Chestnut Hill Historical Society to talk about me volunteering with them, but she canceled. After I was already awake and showered. But it was better that way, because I worked on a poem revision for over an hour. The Space Princess of Numbers is freakin' awesome now. I love it. I dropped a full stanza's worth of syllables, and it's much better for it. Thank you for all your suggestions, writer folks.

And, for the record, I wasn't in some conundrum crisis or anything when I asked what you guys do with line breaks and stanza breaks. I was more like taking a survey. It was really interesting to see what you all said, and I feel like I have more ammunition in my arsenal now. I do have my own methods for tackling line breaks, which I didn't get into in that post, but now I have more to think about. So, thanks again.
supercheesegirl: (monsoon - alice)
So I've been thinking. I wrote a poem recently and had the idea to use a syllabic line, and it totally worked. This is the first time that's ever happened--usually trying to put a poem into a form doesn't work for me at all.

When I was younger, I used to just make lines of poetry whatever length I felt like making them and put stanza breaks wherever they looked prettiest. In grad school, I realized I needed to be more thoughtful and consider my choices more carefully. I had a great conference with Ellen Bryant Voigt about this, actually, which really revolutionized the way I look at line breaks and structure. In that now I look at them and consider them. I still don't really know what to do with them. There were a few times where I tried to do something cool with rhythm or syllabics, but it was just me trying to do something cool rather than the structure serving the poem, so it never worked and I had to drop it, at least mostly.

Occasionally, I'll get a feeling that a certain line will need to end *here*, but otherwise, I mostly feel like any structure, stanza length, line length, whatever is pretty arbitrary. I feel like I do want stanza breaks in my poems, partly just for the space and the air, but my poems don't necessarily suggest stanza breaks; it's more like my poems tell stories and just sort of go on and on without many natural breaks. There are lots of times when, as I'm revising a poem, I just see how many lines there are and what that's divisible by to determine how many lines in a stanza. But there's no meaning to that!

This new poem is the first time I've ever had a structure that really mattered to the poem itself, a structure that contributes meaning to the poem. And you know, that feels really good. One of the things I admire about Ursula LeGuin is how she can write a novel and have the structure of it add meaning to the story. (Read The Dispossessed if you don't believe me.) I would like to be able to do that more.

So here's my question for y'all. When you're writing a poem, how do you determine the structure? Line breaks, rhythm, stanza length, etc. If you do the thing where you have your lines start in different places across the page horizontally, why do you do that? What leads you to making the choices that you make in setting up the "scaffolding" of a poem?
supercheesegirl: (monsoon - alice)
You get to make a wish. It can't be for anything ordinary, like good health or a million dollars or world peace. It must be the absolute fucking craziest wish you can think of, but the wish may be granted so it should be something you actually want. If your wish is satisfactorily off-the-wall you may get another. What do you wish for? Comments are screened.
supercheesegirl: (monsoon - alice)
I finished going through all my poems. I made changes to some of them, saved anything worth salvaging in a new folder. The folder contains 35 poems. I'm surprised at how many of them are from undergrad. Maybe I have a better eye for revision now than I did then. I hope so. Anyway, 35 poems. Could be worse.

I don't know if I'm up for getting things ready to send out, tonight. But I won't be home tomorrow, and I just remembered Heroes isn't on tonight. So maybe I will get some packets together. But first I'll eat dinner.

I got a bonus at work. Everybody gets one, apparently, and they are calculated on some obscure system that no one quite understands. Mine will probably be enough after taxes to pay off my sofabed and send at least a chunk to my credit card. My credit card bill is not pleasant right now. But between the unexpected bonus and my federal tax return, I should be able to get all the moving debt paid off and get myself back to a good financial place. Good news.

I took a long walk tonight. It was actually just half an hour, but it felt longer. It started when I decided to take out the trash. Then I found some more trash to take out, then I remembered those boxes in the basement that needed to go out, and finally I thought I should just go for a walk. It was really nice out tonight. I found the next two stations on the R8 line, so that if I want a nice long walk home after work, I can get off at St. Martins, and if I want a little bit of a walk, I can get off at Highland (and of course if I feel like I'm going to collapse any second, I can just get off at Chestnut Hill West across the street from my apartment). I really like my neighborhood. It's quiet and peaceful. I found Pastorius Park, and lots of people were out with their dogs. I watched for a while. I like living alone.

writing

Mar. 11th, 2007 09:55 am
supercheesegirl: (writing notebook)
I stayed up late last night looking at old poems and seeing what was salvageable. Not as much as I'd like, but more than I'd thought (I am an optimist about nearly everything except my own writing, which I think is as it should be). The St. Monica stuff I suspect could even be good. Then this morning I wrote a poem. I also have an idea for an essay about vaginas. I think I could get back into this writing thing. I think, tonight, I'd like to finish with the salvage effort, and maybe even get some things ready to send out. Deep breaths.
supercheesegirl: (happy beach)
Dude! I get out of work at 3:00 today, because it's a holiday weekend! AND I get the day off on Monday to spend with Chelsea! Double the awesomeness!

I booked flights to AWP in Atlanta. I arrive on Thursday March 1 around 8pm, and depart on Sunday March 4 at 5pm. I'm sharing a room with Fritz and Xina and JT, and Rhett and Jay are going too, and Tom and Jennifer, and Jim and Terry and Stuart and Dan, and probably a lot of other Greensboro grads. I foresee... lots of good times! And drinking!

I think I may spend my usual AWP book budget on liquor. At least then I won't feel guilty about buying a bunch of poetry books and not reading them, which is what I usually do. I know for sure I will drink any alcoholic beverages I buy. Although I will probably buy some books too, or at least subscribe to some journals. All part of my new plan to start being a writer again. I got an offer in the mail to subscribe to Poets&Writers at just $9.95 for a year--that's a pretty good rate, so I may do it, and P&W has a lot of information on getting published, so I bet it would be worth it.

I went to the gym on Tuesday and last night (Thursday). Tuesday I did 37 minutes of elliptical and then spread out my yoga mat in the third floor classroom space, which is in the center of the indoor track. I was in the middle of a downward dog with one leg in the air when I saw a guy I'd chatted with before running around the track, and waving at me. Next time I was rightside up he jogged over to say hi. That was kind of funny. The other really notable thing about Tuesday's practice was that I got my leg straight in a revolving triangle pose for the first time ever. Over three years of doing yoga, and finally! I felt triumphant. It was only my right leg, not my left yet (although I felt close on the left), and I couldn't recreate it last night, but still! I'm definitely making progress. Didn't feel the usual knee wobbliness in revolving extended side angle, either, which was surprising and good. I'm glad I took time away from that one and it came out well. Did the full pushups and squats routine, too. I feel like it makes a big difference.

Last night I had time for 25 minutes of elliptical before yoga class. Class was good--I like Debi, but I don't really like her teaching style, or the way she modifies some poses. It also makes me crazy that she way oversimplifies some poses, as if for a low-level beginner class (lots of the old ladies at my gym have been taking yoga for a while), but then includes poses that are above and beyond my capability, let alone a beginner's. But it's always nice to do yoga with others. I felt good and strong last night, even though I didn't have time to do my pushups and squats. And! Last night I weighed myself, and I weighed the least I have weighed in a really really long time. 151.5! I had just worked out and hadn't eaten dinner yet, but that's usually the case when I weigh myself. It's not like the weight really matters, it's just a number, but still. I felt good.

I've been noticing some other little changes in my body, too. More definition in my arms, for sure, and also in my thighs. My calves have been rock solid for a while now. It's the arms I'm most impressed with, because the heaviest thing I ever lift is me, and my full weight never even rests on my arms. Yoga is just really good for me. Doing yoga and elliptical both, three times a week, is creating results I'm really surprised at--and I haven't even been that regular about it for very long, I was all over the place in December. I hope I can find an affordable gym near my new apartment. I was planning to find a yoga studio and just do yoga and study it seriously, but now that I've been doing the elliptical I want to keep up with that too. So... I want a yoga studio, and I want access to an elliptical machine for 40 minutes three times a week. I don't know that I'd use a gym for anything else. I'll have to see what's around.

...I'm considering not getting internet at my new apartment. I love you guys, but I spend way too much time online. I don't know if I can manage that, though. I'll have to think about it.
supercheesegirl: (writing notebook)
I packed three more boxes: photo albums, folders/notebooks, and hardback/oversize fantasy. All my LeGuin and McKinley are packed away (except The Hero and the Crown, which I won't want to go without all summer). I also catalogued all my poetry books, since it's not like anyone's reading them. I have a ton of poetry books. Going through them made me sad, because I have so many excellent books I haven't touched in three years, and also because so many of them are signed. Not just with a signature, but with a kind note from the poet. I almost cried several times, finding those. But now they're catalogued, and when I unpack them in my new apartment in Pennsylvania, I'm going to read them again and get back to being a poet. 

(I was going to post the whole list of books but LJ won't let me, it says the post is too large. Oh well, you'll all just have to wait anxiously until I get around to uploading them to librarything.)

writing

Feb. 27th, 2006 02:27 pm
supercheesegirl: (writing notebook)
At this time yesterday, I was sitting on the couch surrounded by photo albums and travel journals, feeling lost and trying to figure out what story I wanted to tell for my essay that's due on Wednesday. Right now? Essay is not only written, it's typed and double-spaced, the whole thing clocks in at just over 1000 words, and most importantly, I'm really pleased with what I'm saying and how I'm saying it. Maybe I was right to take such a big break from writing--I was sadly low on material after getting my MFA. At the time I thought I was making excuses, but maybe I needed that break. And maybe I should give my written prose a little more credit than I usually do. I can produce some really decent stuff when I try.
supercheesegirl: (Default)
things to do:
-call mom to say happy birthday
-pick up proofs at 4pm from the ELT office
-read the proofs and return them
-pay august rent; write letter giving one month's notice that we're moving out
-fill out rental application and fax back to dylan
-make deposits, write checks and send to dylan
-package up elan's stuff and mail it to her
-also take my hair to the post office and send it to locks of love
-make appointment for massage and facial at chakras spa (i am calling for the appointment today, i swear)
-get wedding gift for amy and josh
-do more laundry
-pack for our trip

yeah, so all the lease stuff for the new apartment seems to be done. hopefully the poor realtor won't have anything else to freak out about in reference to us. i've never even spoken to the dude and i feel bad for him. and dylan, the czech's in the male; or, rather, money is on its way to you.

last night i cooked garlic-lime chicken. this free subscription to the reader's digest has been the best thing for my cooking, seriously. although this month there was, like, a recipe for pork chops and that's it. but the two recipes i *have* made from that magazine so far have been scrump-diddly-umptious.

while on vacation, i had a really good idea for a story, but i wasn't able to write it right then because a) i was in the shower, b) i hadn't brought my notebook or fast writing pens with me, and c) my parents were, like, right there, and who can write well with her mom watching law & order two feet away? even though i'm home, i still haven't written it. but it's in my head, and hopefully i'll get to it soon, maybe after amy's wedding.

poll: what kind of gift should we get amy and josh for their wedding? (assuming that since we're shopping last-minute there won't be much left on their registry, which i haven't even checked into yet).

yay!

Apr. 10th, 2003 10:06 am
supercheesegirl: (scary monster!)
i just wanted to tell y'all some good news--one of my poems has been accepted for publication in the greensboro review. it'll be in the fall 2003 issue. yay! and it wasn't like i submitted it the usual way (stuart, my professor, chose the poem from my thesis and decided they'd publish it), so i had an "in", but i'm still really, really excited. it's a good magazine, and stuart wouldn'tve taken the poem if he didn't think it deserved it. so everybody should do a little happy dance for me. :)
supercheesegirl: (scary monster!)
text twist high score of the day: 40,170. word i lost on: sync, synced.

i had a conference with stuart on tuesday. i think i figured out why i've been dissatisfied with my conferences with stuart and fred lately. it used to be that i'd write poems, revise them as far as i could, then give them to fred and stuart to rip them up (which they needed badly), and then i'd fix them again. but fred and stuart haven't been ripping things up for a while. they might mention a word here or there, or that "something" in the second stanza needs work, but overall they're like, yeah, bring me more of this. and i was dissatisfied, because i wanted more info on what needed fixing, because it must need lots of fixing, right? on tuesday i had given stuart three poems that i thought were crappy only to have him say that if i'm going to give him poems like that, i should give him more to look at. our conference only lasted like 15 minutes, and part of that was talking about my thesis. he was tired too, but i got the overall impression that he thought the poems worked well. so, walking home, it occurred to me that maybe i shouldn't be dissatisfied with stuart and fred, because maybe the work isn't bad. maybe i'm writing better poems to begin with. or maybe i'm getting better at revising, or at knowing when the poems are good enough to show to other people. whatever, i'm feeling like a stronger writer now.

off to yoga.

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